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I require a larger bed because my ass is too big for this one

February 6, 2012

hotel roomI love traveling – whether for business or pleasure I enjoy seeing new places & faces.  The thing is, I also like deals.  On my last trip to Kitchener I chose to book one of those ‘40% off but the hotel is secret until you pay’ deals.  The deal was great, but the room not so much.  Double (i.e. tiny) sleep number (yeurch!) beds, a dirty tub, overpriced room service.  It was so bad I cut my trip short and drove home in the middle of the night.   All 3-stars are not created equal.

6 months later I find myself traveling yet again to the same area.  This time I was smart and slaied the deal dragon – I paid a bit extra for the comfort of seeing pictures of my room ahead of time.  Confirmed: 2 QUEEN size beds.  Ahhh….. Comfort!  Except…

My ass is too big for this bed!  Let me explain: I’m 5’2” and a size 10.   Can someone please tell me why my feet are dangling off the edge no matter which way I lie?  As I politely complain to the manager on duty that I did not get assigned the room I requested she informs me that this hotel only has queen size beds – no doubles, nowhere.   Either my ass has expanded overnight, or their idea of ‘Queen’ is skewered.  I vote for the latter.  I’m pretty sure the Queen, in her 60 year reign, has never seen a bed this small.

The royal icing on the cake?  I’ve just been told that all rooms on the 4th floor don’t come with duvets…. That would explain the flimsy sheets on my bed.  I guess that’s where the extra padding on my ass comes in handy, so long as my skivvies don’t get tied in a bunch!

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